Cool Quotes
(Some funny, some thoughtful)


"I have my own God, and I think my God finds me incredibly fucking funny.
 That's why I chose him as my God ... "
-Dennis Miller

"When it comes to a choice between two evils, I always choose the one I haven't tried before."
-Mae West

"Life in Lubbock, Texas taught me two things.
One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell.
The other is that sex is the most awful, dirty thing on the face of the earth
and you should save it for someone you love."
-Butch Hancock

"Christian Fundamentalism: The doctrine that there is an absolutely powerful,
infinitely knowledgeable, universe spanning entity that is deeply and
personally concerned about my sex life."
-Author Unknown

Is there anyone on this ship who even remotely looks like Satan?
-Captain Kirk

"A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy,
education, and social ties; no religious basis is necessary.
Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment
and hope of reward after death."
-Albert Einstein

"I have never seen the slightest scientific proof of the religious theories of
heaven and hell, of future life for individuals, or of a personal God."
-Thomas Edison

The child who receives a hammer for Christmas will discover that
everything needs pounding. - The Law Of The Hammer
-Author Unknown

"The church says the earth is flat, but I know that it is round, for I have seen
the shadow on the moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the church."
-Ferdinand Magellan

"I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you
dismiss all the other gods you will understand why I dismiss yours."
-Stephen F. Roberts

"Men fear thought as they fear nothing else on earth, more than ruin, more even than death...
Thought is subversive and revolutionary, destructive and terrible,
thought is merciless to privilege, established institutions, and comfortable habit.
Thought looks into the pit of hell and is not afraid.
Thought is great and swift and free, the light of the world,  and the chief glory of man."
-Bertrand Russell

"Agnosticism simply means that a man shall not say he knows or believes that
for which he has no grounds for professing to believe."
-Thomas Henry Huxley

"It is an interesting and demonstrable fact, that all children are atheists and
were religion not inculcated into their minds, they would remain so."
Ernestine Rose

"Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion,
and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish."
-Author Unknown

Why would Jesus come back? People put up crosses everywhere!
-Author Unknown

What one guard said to another:
"See, I told you the sticks were too big! You need smaller ones for a Jesus Kite!"
-Author Unknown

So many idiots, so few comets.
-Author Unknown

Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
-Author Unknown

"NEW YORK, NY. A man was knocked down by a
car and got up uninjured, but lay back down in
front of the car when a bystander told him to
feign injury in order to collect insurance money.
The car rolled forward and crushed him to death."
- Associated Press, 1977

"Faith: not wanting to know what is true."
- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)

"All thinking men are atheists."
-Ernest Hemingway

"In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed
but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance.
In Switzerland, they had brotherly love; they had five hundred years of democracy and peace
and what did they produce? The cuckoo clock."
- Orson Welles

"If  hooking a monkey up to a car battery is going to find a cure for AIDS,
then I've only got two things to say: Red is positive and black is negative."
-Dennis Leary

Experience should teach us to be most on our guard to protect liberty
when the government's purposes are beneficent.
Men born to freedom are naturally alert to repel invasion of their liberty by evil-minded rulers.
The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment
by men of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding.
- Louis D. Brandeis, US Supreme Court Justice

"If everything is under control, you are going too slow."
- Mario Andretti

"I'm sickened by all religions. Religion has divided people.
I don't think there's any difference between the pope wearing a large hat and
parading around with a smoking purse and an African painting his face white
and praying to a rock."
-Howard Stern

"There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the
Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear
and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.
There is another theory which states that this has already happened."
- Douglas Adams

If you can spend a perfectly useless afternoon in a perfectly useless manner, you have learned how to live.
- Lin Yutang

"Bother!" said Pooh, as he died in a pool of blood.
-Author Unknown

All I know I learned from killing smart people and eating their brains.
-Author Unknown

Anyone who uses the phrase “Easy as taking candy from a baby”
has never tried taking candy from a baby.
-Author Unknown

To see a world in a grain of sand,
and heaven in a wildflower.
To hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
and eternity in an hour
-William Blake

There is self and there is truth.
Where self is, truth is not. Where truth is, self is not.
Self is the fleeting error of Samsara.
It is individual separateness and that egotism, which begets envy and hatred.

Self is the yearning for pleasure and the lust after vanity.
Truth is the correct comprehension of things;
it is the permanent and everlasting, the real in all existence, the bliss of righteousness.

The existence of self is an illusion, and there is no wrong in this world.
No vice. No sin. Except what flows from assertion of self.

The attainment of truth is possible only when self is recognized as an illusion.
Righteousness can be practiced only when we have freed our mind from the passions of egotism.
Perfect peace can dwell only where all vanity has disappeared.
-Gospel of the Buddha

Love is one aspect of productive orientation:
The active and creative relatedness of humans towards other humans, to oneself, and to nature.

In the realm of thought, this productive orientation is expressed in the proper grasp of the world by reason.
In the realm of action, the productive orientation is expressed in creative work, the prototype of which is art and craftswork.
In the realm of feeling, the productive orientation is expressed in love.
Which is the experience of union with another person, with all people, and with nature,
under the condition of retaining one’s sense of integrity and independence.
-Author Unknown

There are two things which make it impossible to believe that this world is the successful work of
an all-wise, all-good, and at the same time, all-powerful being.
First of all, is the misery that abounds in it everywhere.
Secondly, the obvious imperfection of it’s highest products: humans;
who are a burlesque of what they should be.
-Arthur Schopenhauer

There is no reason to suppose that the world had a beginning at all.
The idea that things must have a beginning is only due to the poverty of our imagination.
-Bertrand Russell

We come from a dark abyss, we end in a dark abyss, and we call the luminous interval life.
-Nikos Kazantzakis

Belief in the gods seems to have its roots in human desires and fears.
Particularly those associated with self-preservation.

Like all other creatures, people have a profound will to live.
Which is mainly what gives one’s existence a meaning from one sunrise to the next.

Unlike other creatures, however, humans are capable of the full and terrible realization of their own inevitable decay.
-Author Unknown

There is no such thing as perpetual tranquility of mind while we live here.
-Thomas Hobbes

Didst thou forget that man prefers peace, and even death, to freedom of choice in the knowledge of good and evil?
Nothing is more seductive for man, than his freedom of conscience, and nothing is a greater cause of suffering.
-Feodor Dostoyevsky

Until philosophers are kings, or the kings and princes of this world have the spirit and power
of philosophy,
and political greatness and wisdom meet in one,
and those commoner natures who pursue either to the exclusion of the other
are
compelled to step aside, cities will never have rest from their evils.
No, nor the human race, as I believe.
And only then will our state have a possibility of life and behold the light of day.

-Plato

Some people have nothing but experience.
-Don Herold